The Gargoyle’s Gift Guide: For List-makers, Diary-keepers and General Book-wreckers…

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Evenin’ all! Today I present to you some ideas for those most insidious people on your  list…you know the ones…they’ve already finished their Christmas shopping by August at the latest, they’ve printed out all those digital family snaps and arranged them artistically in some sort of scrapbook, and they use words like “reflecting” and “goal setting” and “making dreams a reality”.

And then there’s some suggestions for that other lot – the ones who spill tea on that brand new first edition hardback you bought them for their birthday; the ones who write phone messages in crayon on the wall because they couldn’t find pen and paper, the ones who tear out pages and use them to wrap gifts because it’s more eco-friendly than buying wrapping paper….

Honestly, it makes one shudder to think about it. Yet still, gifts must be exchanged….so I have made your job easy.  You can thank me with appreciative glances and quiet murmurs of praise.

For List-Makers:

Look no further than The A-Z Book of Curious Lists: A Journal for the Impossibliy Imaginative.  This cracker of a book provides fresh fodder for those obsessive little munchkins who cannot make it through a day without making a list.  With a list idea for every occasion, this will keep them so busy that their “To-do” List will remain untouched for days.  Some of my favourites are:

  • Other Names Besides Harold for an Elephant
  • Indecent Attire in Which to Attend the Opera
  • and Unpromising Haiku Beginnings (in response to which, my fleshling owner has written “There once was a man from Nantucket”)

the-a-z-book-of-curious-lists-a-journal-for-the-impossibly-imaginative

For Diary-Keepers:

For a twist on the run-of-the-mill diary experience or for those who are time- and imagination-poor, Q&A a Day: A 5 Year Journal is just the ticket.  This pocket-sized memory-protector provides enough space to write a single answer to a given question five times over, to cover the same date over five consecutive years.  The advantage of this is that you only have to write one sentence a day and you can cheat off last year’s answer if you can’t think of an original one.  My favourite questions from this one so far are:

  • What is your Achille’s Heel?
  • What can you smell right now?
  • and What new word have you learned? (to which my fleshling owner has responded: “Moral turpitude”….which is quite obviously two words, not one.  It really is a wonder I’m not presiding over piles of books that begin with “See Dick Run”…)

qanda a dayFor Book-Wreckers:

For this most difficult group, one cannot go past Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith.

wreck this journal

This licence to spill, mess up and generally destroy is perfect for anyone who wants to break free from the shackles of conformity…and anyone who’s just a bit bored in work-related meetings.  While I am yet to become guardian of this tome on my personal shelf (my fleshling owner obviously being more kindred with the precocious group of list-makers and diary-keepers), I have searched for some examples of work completed in this book to give you an idea of what you may be in for.  Such as this:

bleurgh journal

and this fluffly little gem:

tumblr_m9wsnej2MA1qhj4s9o1_500

So once again dear readers, I hope these suggestions aid you in your neverending and ultimately unsatisfying search for that perfect gift.  And if Santa happens to be reading, Mad Martha would love a copy of Wreck this Journal (being a firm encumbent of the book-wrecking population).

Until next time,

Bruce

The Gargoyle’s Gift Guide: Stocking fillers for Book Nerds…ahem…Literary Fanatics…

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Well hello my pretties! Today I present for you some fantastic “stocking fillers” that the book lover in your life may be coveting….I say “stocking fillers”, but in my day stocking fillers were reasonably inexpensive knick knacks that were a quirky little add-on to the main present.  Today, the term appears to be taken more literally, and includes any item that is small enough to fit in a stocking, regardless of price (or so the advertisers would have us believe).

To this end I present to you the following beauties….

For the non-lactose-intolerant book lover, try these Quotable Chocolate Bars!

Yes! Chocolate wrapped in a quote from a well-known literary talent! How could one go wrong with such a combination? Unless, of course, you live in the southern hemisphere, in which case, by Christmas day, one’s stocking will be marred by a seeping, oozing, chocolate-y puddle and a slightly soggy box…but at least that box will contain the remnants of a quote from a well-known literary talent!

Or, for the more swanky of your book-loving friends, what about this Paperback Perfume?

Allow your friends to demonstrate their love of reading through this olfactory extravagance.  As they swan about amongst the in-crowd, the distinctive scent of a crisp new paperback will follow after them, beckoning those of a like mind towards intellectual union.  Unfortunately for the more digitally inclined reader, “Scent of a Kindle” has not yet been released.

  Why not stuff the stocking of the gent who has everything, including a hefty shelf of paperbacks and a flair for snappy dressing,  with this Penguin Paperbacks Tie

Then challenge him to read all of the titles pictured!

And for that hard-to-buy-for, teenaged rebel without a clause, what could be more appropriate than this Banned Books Bracelet?  

As soon as this little baby’s unwrapped, your subversive teen reader will be parading around the room and stickin’ it to the man in jewellery form, saying, “Yes! I’ve read Captain Underpants! What of it?”

I hope this has been a helpful starting point for you all – I intend to continue providing useful and timely advice regarding gifts for various social groupings in the run-up to the great holiday season, so stay tuned.

Laybuy now for Christmas!

Bruce

Just Dahl-ing: Fantastic finds for a Friday…

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“My candle burns at both ends,

it will not last the night.

But ah my foes and oh my friends

it gives a lovely light”

Roald Dahl’s motto

Well my friends, I am in a particularly Dahl-ish mood today (as is the case with all of us at one point or another) so I have compiled a small collection of quite fantastic finds related to the good man himself.  For the iphone/pad/pod/potato owners, you can spruce up your phone with a Golden Ticket inspired decal!

Got a birthday coming up? Theme it Wonka and snatch these amazing character cake toppers!

But my best, and possibly the weirdest, find yet – a full set of pens crafted around characters from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Here, my friends, is the answer to the question “What do you get that book lover who has everything?”

Each of these beauties is available for purchase at the links below:

Ipod decal: http://www.etsy.com/listing/87689801/the-golden-ticket-iphone-44s-decal

Cake Toppers: http://www.etsy.com/listing/51715867/willy-wonka-and-the-chocolate-factory

Pen set: http://www.etsy.com/listing/92003417/the-entire-set-of-character-pens-from

Laybuy now for Christmas!

Bruce